Gillian will be showing @ 7pm - Saturday, July 31st!

Filmed at Congregation Sha'ar Zahav last Sunday, the film is about Gillian, a bi woman in a bitter relationship with her boyfriend. Gillian is dealing with an injured knee and going to physical therapy with a kind and attentive gender fluid doctor who seems to be in stark contrast with Gillian's boyfriend. 

Seven days from concept to finished film. One week to write, shoot, edit and score a short film with a group of your friends, competing with other filmmaking teams for the honor of making the best Seven Day Film in San Francisco.

For Tickets:
http://sevendayfilm.com/festival/tickets/
 
 

Help with the Seven Day Film Competition!

It is that time of year! The seven day film competition's only 100% trans team is looking for both crew and actors available this weekend Saturday and Sunday the 17th and 18th. Rehearsal 10 AM Saturday at the directors house, first day of filming 2pm at screenwriters house. Second day of filming Sunday at Sha'ar Zahav  2pm as well. This 15 minute short is a romantic dramady that takes us on journey through the lives of two women seen through the lens of a regular physical therapy appointment. 

For this dramady we are going to need two trans actors willing to play cisgendred people.

Michal -  a woman who is slightly on the butcher side of things, fit, ready and a physical therapist to boot.

Steff - a hipster with a penchant for looking in the mirror and checking his looks. 

If you think you might be able to portray these characters or help crew, please contact me at martin@afeinmess.com. 


If you would like to act in this film, please be aware that our schedule will be Saturday and Sunday, 17 & 18, in the afternoon. We may only have a short time to rehearse lines but that makes for fresh emotion in this seven day film.  B'Shalom and Thanks!

Martin Rawlings-Feinwww.afeinmess.com
 
 
Last night a small bombshell was dropped on our team in both finding out our film had to have a medical subtext and that Kara Flynn will not be able to help out as much this year due to other conflicts. We sat down and brainstormed last night about film ideas that would fit the theme. 


What came out of the discussion that Kara, Lisa [Stein] and I had was a romantic dramady (it might be slightly campy at points) that takes us on journey through the lives of two women through the lens of a regular physical therapy appointment. 


For this dramady we are going to need one woman who is slightly on the butcher side of things, fit and ready to portray a physical therapist. This is the last role left to cast, if you think you might be able to portray this character please contact me at martin@afeinmess.com. 


If you would like to acti in this film, please be aware that our schedule will be Saturday and Sunday in the afternoon. We may only have a short time to rehearse lines but that makes for fresh emotion in this seven day film. 
 
9 hours to go... 07/14/2010
 
I am taking a break from work to write this little missive. We have 9 hours to go before splashdown. Have I bitten off more than I can chew, a little animation, shh don't tell me I can't do animation all by myself. I am determined to make this film sparkle as brightly as I can. 
 
 
As I sit here and work out the logistics for our Seven Day Film Competition entry, I feel a the anticipation of finding out what is needed to write the script. With Perfect Fit we hadn't done any planning at all when the Kick-Off event  happened and we still made a decent film. This time we are well prepared and better off thanks to being able to meet and pitch film ideas. 



This year we are in it to win it!
 
New Directions 07/08/2010
 
New developments and directions abound for me in my life as a husband, father and filmmaker. I should add one more thing to that list, possible rabbinic student. As many of you know I have been considering the rabbinate since before most of you met me. At least since I was a young kid wanting to be in touch with a deeper meaning within my soul.

I feel privileged to tell you now that I have broken through those invisible walls that keep stopping me from applying. Although I guess you could say that I have had a self imposed "glass ceiling" installed above my head. Every time I start on a journey to the rabbinate, I end up right back where I started rubbing my aching head.

To give some background, I started my official inquiries in 2007 after graduation from New College of California, yes that one, it imploded a year later and the now defunct college is still a punchline. There was a lot going on in my world when I contacted the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College (RRC) about their programs. I got the packet and felt very lukewarm about what I saw. Then on to Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion, or (HUC), which was the form of Judaism that I was used to and had grown into at my Reform Shul. 

Try as I might, I couldn't really convince Shelli to pick up and move to LA with me, NY she would have done, because she had family living there, but not Cincinnati either. I spoke to Reuben Zellman, a recently admitted trans rabbinic student, and was told that the year in Israel would be difficult as well with a partner. Mostly because of the visitors visa issue. That and Shelli really did not want to move anywhere far from our Shul.

I finally decided to work with what I had and I applied to a Jewish Studies MA program (distance) through Hebrew College in Newton Mass (a suburb of Boston). A fourth tier grad school education, right after an education for a "Just, Sacred & Sustainable World" makes for great dinner conversation. My fellow students are all second career professionals with degrees coming out of their ears, so for them the school is a nice pace.

For me, it feels like I am standing still, stuck in the mud if you will. At a time in my life when I should be settling into a career, I am just exploring one.  Though exploration is something I am very familiar with, I read the menu at my favorite restaurants every time I sit down. Shelli often complains that I will plan things to death. What can I say, it stops me from bad mistakes in life and keeps me honest.

Recently there have been a smattering of trans-movement yeshiva style rabbinic schools popping up and onto my radar. Upon reflection, I realized that there were opportunities to study that would allow me to take the next steps, without having to uproot my little family. Especially now, with Shelli expecting another little bundle or joy. If I want to make becoming a rabbi a part of my here and now, then I need to take concrete steps and not self sabotage.

That brings us to the wild world of the ALEPH Rabbinic Program. "A non-denominational, highly decentralized program of learning which offers structured guidance and mentorship in pursuing the rigorous studies and practica which can culminate in rabbinic ordination." This program has been offered up as a panacea at times, by advisors or professors who didn't think I was cut out for the rabbinate, whether because of my trans nature or my over scheduled life.

Lately I started actually considering adding the program to my accredited Masters program from Hebrew College. And this past week I talked to the admissions person at ALEPH and asked about getting a packet. I am not quite to where I left off at HUC, but if I can get past that, I think I could ride that victory over self defeat all the way to ordination. Not that I am saying it will be easy, because HaShem knows, I am a difficult character to work with :)
 
 

By Martin Rawlings-Fein

How do we recognize G-d? The sages say that the Jewish people posses two methods by which to identify and recognize G-d. The first is the Anochi of Exodus. "I am Adoni your G-d. I performed public miracles when I brought you out of Egypt and gave you the Torah." There is a second way to recognize G-d. The ability of the Jewish people to recognize G-d's Anochi "I am" when Hashem is concealed, and invokes a singular talent, the ability to identify and understand the ongoing redemption of haster asteer, "I will surely hide and conceal." The presence of G-d's hand in human events, even when it is not evident, perceived, or obvious is similar to the special talent of the person who has trained his or her senses to recognize their friends at night by listening, feeling and waiting for their unique signature sound, sent, sight  or touch.

On Sunday night I saw and recognized G-d in the work of one Sean Dorsey in "Uncovered: The Diary Project." While one may laugh at this assertion, respectfully, one was not there to witness the beauty and stature of the four men who danced the most amazingly beautiful work that I have ever seen.  Captivated I witnessed the covenant of these four men with history and memory and the reconnecting with the life that so many people take for granted. Playful and innocent even in its bawdy essence the entire production conveyed the G-dly message that we must remember things as they were, not as we wished them to be. I was humbled and reminded that G-d is everywhere and that he hand picks his messengers. Dorsey along with Brian Fisher, Juan de la Rosa, and Nol Simonse were like angels in flight and lit with the fire of heaven.

The dance project was produced by Fresh Meat, a queer arts company that produces such events as Tranny Fest. For the uninitiated this may seem far fetched but to me it is the culmination of all of Dorsey's past achievements and a realization of where his work is heading. Dorsey's research into the journals of Lou Sullivan, a transsexual gay man who lived in San Francisco as a trailblazing activist, organizer and writer who passed of AIDS in 1991, created the backdrop. However, the dance itself embodied the spirit of Lou and inspired the wonder of all. G-d was in the details for Dorsey and his cohort of messengers.  I personally know Dorsey and Simonse but had never seen them dance so beautifully. While the beauty was expected it stilled the beating of my heart and caused me to weep.  

I created video piece for the production and spent three showings in the lobby listening to the audience react (My friend Zion Johnson spent two showings helping to setup the equipment). I wanted to wait until Sunday to see it, so that my first time would be with my wife.  All the while audiences filed out of the studio and into my installation silently and in awe of the production that they had just seen. Apparently my short silent film was a good companion piece, I was told this several times by random people that didn't know me. Those that did know me thought I was there watching the video like them, and wondered why I was watching the faces of the viewers and the wheels turning beneath the calm. Until they saw the credits and proceeded to tell me how surprised the were. I don't talk that much about my video work, I probably should. The most amazing comment was from Dorsey himself, saying that the video had choked him up upon seeing it for the first time.  

I feel a sense of humility and gratitude to Dorsey and his dancers, to Fresh Meat, and to Lou Sullivan the man who opened a crack in the door for people like me, a bisexual transsexual, who would not have been able to transition without Lou's groundbreaking work. I have indeed seen the face of G-d in both the details and depth of the dance and the life of Lou Sullivan.

 
 

Friday, November 28th.

A community-wide tribute to two remarkable men who changed the course of history

This special event commemorates the 30th Anniversary of the assassinations of George Moscone and Harvey Milk, featuring friends and family of George and Harvey, Holly Near, the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco, and the GLAM Youth Choir.

This event also celebrates the 30th Anniversary of SF Gay Men's Chorus's first public appearance, making them the first and oldest gay-identified choral organization in the world. The Chorus is set to perform, along with other newly-commissioned pieces, songs they performed the night of the assassinations.

4 pm: Memorial Concert, steps of SF City Hall

5 pm: Twilight march from the City Hall to the Castro

 

This event is co-presented by the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club, the San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration Committee and the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club.

Invite your friends, spouses, and family members and feel free to spread the word!

 
 

As the secular year draws to a close the film GER: Choosing to be Chosen is taking shape. It looks a little different than what I first imagined it to be, a film about many different personal experiences, like Clocked my first film. It will be short, around 30 minutes this time around — instead of the 45 plus that the first cut of Clocked was. I feel more confident about the style, after I have cut it down and inserted my own story, unlike Clocked where I didn't have any of my story at all.

Some things that need to be done before the first cut is tested out on audiences:

1. Insert personal dialogue — Just can’t get away from my story.
2. Cut down interspersed segments from interviews — just not enough flow as it stands.
3. Weave my own Gay/Bi/Trans coming out story in parallel with “Jewish Coming Out” story.
4. Talk to Sue about interviewing as an educational mentor — Need to have a few more mentors involved, maybe chat with Paul.
5. Try to get some sound bites from local rabbis: Rabbi Angel, Rabbi Kukla and others as needed.
6. Work on opening sequence, would like some sort of animation — Preferably trans Jewish artist (any takers).
7. Edit, edit, edit... 

Getting ready to go to NY for Thanksgiving, feel like I need to film some of our trip. Shelli (my wife) is a great camera person, she used to volunteer at access in college. I feel a little skittish about putting myself out there on film but it isn’t anything that I haven’t asked the participants in my films and television productions to do...

B'Shalom,
Martin Rawlings-Fein

 
 

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